I cannot continue watching pornography or masturbating or even thinking of doing something along those lines. Yes, I used to watch porn and masturbate whenever I felt like it! And I’m not saying that watching tons and tons of porn or masturbating is a really good thing. I am absolutely not proud of doing what I used to do. It’s really, really bad. Not only did I feel so much shame and embarrassment, but I also lost the empathetic human soul within me.
After watching porn and/or heavily masturbating to thousands of sexy pictures of girls, I felt tired, lacked motivation to do exercise, had smaller erections, lower sex libido, and the most disgraceful of all, I viewed women as nothing more than sexual objects. And yet, despite all of these negative symptoms, I could not and chose not to stop doing it! I was literally living in a fake dimension where women were treated like porn stars or sexy super models. Porn was an escape! I felt like only those sexualized girls had feelings for me. I felt like I was ostracized from the alpha male population. But I was wrong, very wrong.
Some trained specialists say that my “hypersexuality” has to do with the fact that I may have bipolar disorder. I don’t tell many people that I have bipolar disorder. For one, there’s the stigma, and two, I felt like most people wouldn’t feel comfortable if they knew that I was diagnosed with a mental illness. My brain was healthy. And thanks to porn, my brain was slowly changing its form.
I was more f*cked up in the head than someone who injects heroin into their blood stream. Will it be difficult for me to stop watching porn or masturbating? It will if I make it a problem. I have to lose all contact with anything related to pornography. This is not one of those problems. I have to literally become one with the power of self-control. There are many people who fall victim to the intoxicating power of porn and masturbation. You just have to be strong enough to conquer that temptation.
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