Work On Your Own Terms

Control. I aim to have full control over my life. 

In my mind, I have so many thoughts constantly popping up every now and then. I think about girls, cars, big houses, vacations to tropical islands & a successful career.

Ever since I was eighteen years old, I had this dream of living the upper class lifestyle. Being rich, in my opinion, isn’t about having bragging rights. I like being rich because of the security benefits. Let me explain:

In movies and television shows aimed for a teenage audience, there’s usually that one geeky or nerdy wallflower guy or girl that comes off as shy and insecure. That was me three years ago. I was seventeen, a senior in a public high school. I wasn’t the best dressed or the most “popular” kid at school. I didn’t play any sports, and I certainly never went to any school dances, including prom…

Now, to clarify any preconceived opinions or notions, I don’t exactly know what it feels like to have a smooth transition between middle school and college. Many teens had a great time in high school. They could easily provide strong, concrete, reasonable evidence that proves that high school is not that bad.

We live in a big world. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. God Bless America

I’m the oldest of three. I’m supposed to be the one to set an example. But, what happens when the oldest rebels against the K-12 education system? Failure. That’s what happens.

Like a fallen angel, I fell down, down into an abysmal pit of nothingness. I was overweight and lonely. I hated life, and I wanted to kill myself.

Why do kids go through things like this? Can’t the world just be perfect?

I was expecting to feel relieved from the traumatic stress induced by the social pressure of being a high school student. Nothing changed. I remember feeling that I was stupid,  and for that reason, I didn’t finish high school.

I got over it because, well, I’m a bad ass…

Eventually, I realized that I’m not stupid for leaving high school on such a short notice. I graduated on my own terms. I earned my high school diploma on my own terms. My high school story will be forever ingrained in the hearts of the teachers, students, peers who I came across throughout the years that I attended high school.

I am writing this to inform and maybe inspire anyone who has ever felt like the life decisions they made were morally wrong because everyone else told them so. I defied the public high school system, and I feel happier. So walk your own path. If you have to rebel, do it. If your parents aren’t happy with what you’re doing, prove them wrong. In the end, none of these conflicts will matter. Make the most of what you have. Stay strong young king or queen. Money is my solution. Find yours.

 

 

I Used To Feel Lost And Confused

I’m at a point in my life where I literally force myself to study the tactics and rules used by the business professionals to become rich. Even if I have lots and lots of cash, I do not plan on scamming people. My Hood River community must have a business like no other, and they’re going to get the benefits of feeling well without being ripped off.

 Throughout my teenage years, I was lost, and I had no clue of who I was as a person. Insecurity, sweaty palms, negative thoughts, cravings for sex and love, and much much more were flooding my dopamine-lacking brain and lethargic body. I didn’t even have the balls to talk to women I was attracted to. 

But today is a new day. I’ve had a few relapses. I used to ejaculate tons and tons, but now I’m building my self-control. (Masturbating and watching porn is a thing of the past.) I know what you’re thinking: I was a nasty man. The truth of the matter is that I had issues that no one seemed to help me with. 

During the day, I seem like a timid, soft-spoken individual. Women may think that I’m shy, or that I have low self-esteem. And yet, I am not shy or timid nor do I have low self-esteem. I was just scared to approach beautiful women. I was afraid of rejection. I felt as if rejection was similar to dying. Eventually, as I progressed into my twenties, I got over my fear. Do you know how I did it? I realized that it was just an illusion. Women are actually more afraid of talking to men than men are afraid of talking to women. By not expressing myself, I was holding back on so much. 

One of my goals for now is to enjoy my years of youth. I have a little less than ten years left before I turn 30, twenty years until I turn 40, thirty years until I turn 50, and fourty years until I turn 60. Sure, I will definitely be able to live past sixty, but I can’t procrastinate and put off all of my goals until I’m a senior citizen. 

I was just scared to approach beautiful women. I was afraid of rejection. I felt as if rejection was similar to dying.

It’s almost 3:00 am in the morning, and I’m almost finished writing this blog. One thing I know is that I’ve been putting off so much in my life because of fear of rejection. Why should I watch a pornographic movie or video when I can easily go outside, talk to a woman, and make love to her because she has an emotional connection with me? Choosing love over sex is a no-brainer. 

I must have a real, honest connection with a woman. Virtual connections aren’t the same. Humans need affection. They need the warmth of another person’s touch. Excuse me if I sound corny or overly-romantic, but I must get this message across: Love is part of being human. There is nothing like being loved by a woman and loving her because you care, because you proved to her that you’re better than all of the dim-witted, cold-hearted men, and because you have a strong, emotional bond with her. 

Take New Chances

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. 

— Henry Ford

I Used To Be A Sex Addict But Let Me Explain

I cannot continue watching pornography or masturbating or even thinking of doing something along those lines. Yes, I used to watch porn and masturbate whenever I felt like it! And I’m not saying that watching tons and tons of porn or masturbating is a really good thing. I am absolutely not proud of doing what I used to do. It’s really, really bad. Not only did I feel so much shame and embarrassment, but I also lost the empathetic human soul within me.

After watching porn and/or heavily masturbating to thousands of sexy pictures of girls, I felt tired, lacked motivation to do exercise, had smaller erections, lower sex libido, and the most disgraceful of all, I viewed women as nothing more than sexual objects. And yet, despite all of these negative symptoms, I could not and chose not to stop doing it! I was literally living in a fake dimension where women were treated like porn stars or sexy super models. Porn was an escape! I felt like only those sexualized girls had feelings for me. I felt like I was ostracized from the alpha male population. But I was wrong, very wrong. 

Some trained specialists say that my “hypersexuality” has to do with the fact that I may have bipolar disorder. I don’t tell many people that I have bipolar disorder. For one, there’s the stigma, and two, I felt like most people wouldn’t feel comfortable if they knew that I was diagnosed with a mental illness. My brain was healthy. And thanks to porn, my brain was slowly changing its form.

I was more f*cked up in the head than someone who injects heroin into their blood stream. Will it be difficult for me to stop watching porn or masturbating? It will if I make it a problem. I have to lose all contact with anything related to pornography. This is not one of those problems. I have to literally become one with the power of self-control. There are many people who fall victim to the intoxicating power of porn and masturbation. You just have to be strong enough to conquer that temptation.

Why Do We Fear Rejection?

Not all of us fear rejection, but the few of us that do will miss out on many life-changing opportunities.